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Some reasons why a modem is better than a woman

1. A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it. Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".

2. When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.

3. A modem won't say a word if you come home late.

4. A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.

5. A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.

6. You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.

7. A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.

8. A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.

9. You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents. If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.

10. Modems come with an instruction manual. Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.

A Sardar's answers in his medical entrance exam

Sardar was giving his medical entrance exam.
He gave definitions as follows:
Antibody:
Against everybody
Artery:
Study of fine art paintings
Cardiology:
Advanced study of playing cards
CT scan:
Scanning 4 lost whistle..
Coma:
Punctuation mark
Bacteria:
Back door to a cafeteria…

A Sardar's divorce plan

A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide?
You have 3 children.
Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.

Application Form For 'Lok Sabha Election'

1. Name of Candidate: ____________ _________

girls=time+money
and everyone knows time=money
and money is the root of all evil
so girls are evil

G = T + M
T = M
M --> E
G = எ

Uncle Banta is hiding in the closet

Santa gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Banta is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

Santa slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, "says the angry santa,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!

Sardar on Bus Farts!

You are sardarji and on a bus, when you suddenly fart.

Luckily the music is very loud.

So every time you fart, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus

Everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly

realize............
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You're listening to your IPOD!

My Mother is dead!!

One day Banta was driving home from work, as he got out of the car he heard his friend Santa crying. "Oh my god what's wrong?" Banta asked. "My mother just died!" said Santa crying out. Banta feeling sorry for his friend comforted him for the whole day. The next day Banta saw Santa crying outside. "Now what the hell is wrong?!" Banta asked. "Ohh, it's terrible...my sister called, and her mother died too!"

Domestic quarrel

During a domestic quarrel our Sardarji hid himself under a bed. At last his wife found him out. She asked him to come out. To this he replied: "I am not afraid of you. After all I am a man. If I say I won't come out, I won't.

Santa's confession to his fiancee

'Before we get married,' said Santa to his fiancee,'I want to confess some affairs I've had in the past.'

'But you told me all about those a couple of weeks ago,' replied the girl.

'Yes, darling,' Santa explained, 'but that was a couple of weeks ago.'

The great sardar kidnap

A Sardar was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Sardar."

The Sardar then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardar checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?"